(Backdated entry)
What follows is the text of the email that I sent out to the players when I had finsihed making a new set of character sheets. I don't remember what I saw that inspired this, though it obviously a riff on Gallagher's Sledge-o-matic spiel, with a little bit of Pete Sears' infomercial voice mixed in for good measure. (The references to changed abilities is because we use a slightly modified Ability list.)
“Gee, I wish that I had some spiffy new character sheets so that I wouldn't have these ugly old scribbled out changed abilities…”
“Hold on just a minute there, Tad! We have just what YOU have been looking for!
Your friendly local storyteller Gregor, a division of Gregor Enterprises, a subsidiary of Gregorco. Ltd., illegal front company for GREGORDYNE TECHNOLOGIES GmBH., SSL, and not to mention HTML and TCP/IP … has created the ALL-NEW …
NEVERBEFORESEEN …
Handy, Dandy …
CHARACTERMATIC!™
The CHARACTERMATIC!™ consists of One (1) completely redesigned custom character sheet for YOUR GAME, printed on standard white ink jet paper with water-resistant black ink!
Check out what you get…
The CHARACTERMATIC!™ is designed to resemble the first page of the four-page sheets from Exalted Compendium. It has EXTRA EXTRA storage for all your Armor and Weapons. It has NO unnecessary space taken up by completely redundant charm lists! It has all of the standard features you've come to know and love. For example, it has Willpower. It has Virtues. It has Virtue Flaws.
But we don't stop there. No sir! It even has a cute little check box to indicate your dominant virtue!
So, how much would you pay for the Amazing CHARACTERMATIC!™??!?!
$100? $80?
BUT WAIT! There's more…
Not only does the CHARACTERMATIC!™ have all the stuff those cheap knock-offs from the other guys have, it also includes the changed abilities for YOUR GAME, with no tedious scribbles required! That's right, fully PREassembled!
NOW how much would you pay? $60? $19.95?? Three pieces of pocket lint and a pretty rock??! PUT. AWAY. THAT. POCKETLINT!
ACT NOW and we'll include an ever-so handy list of bonus point and experience point costs (with page numbers) at the bottom of the page, and of course our trademark “here's how the bloody hell you calculate Essence pools” … AB-so-lutely FREE!
That's right, FREE!
Sorry, no cash or C.O.D.s accepted. Act now, nobody is standing by!