OK, maybe I'm not so stable as I'd hoped.

Nearly had an attack as I was walking in the door from work today. It's like a wave of solid emptiness welling up and making you want to fall on the ground and twitch for awhile. Later, was talking to Stacy on IM, and I did lose it after she went offline.

That may be the worst part of this. The emotions wouldn't be so bad if I could keep them mostly reined in, but every so often I start to crack at the seams, and I do a fair impression of Sarek from the eponymous Star Trek: The Next Generation episode. It's quite thoroughly terrifying, the loss of control.